My Life, His Choices

I have never been a drinker, but I have had to face the fact that I was powerless to stop my young son from drinking. What was it like for me to admit I was powerless over alcohol? It was sickening and terrifying. There was so much damage, and some continues today. I...

Patient with the Process

Just weeks after a milestone birthday, I broke my hip in three places. I’d been shooing a lizard off my front porch, and when the lizard leaped, I reacted to its sudden movement and hit the floor. I exited my house on a stretcher and spent months recovering. During...

A Disease of Communication and Relationships

I believe that alcoholism is a disease of communication and a disease of relationships. When my husband offered to help me around the house, I didn’t expect him to volunteer to wash my daughter’s expensive sports gear. I cringed. Would he do it “correctly” (aka my...

Desperate to Change

I once read that 80 percent of people make changes out of desperation, while only 20 percent change due to inspiration. When I attended my first Al-Anon meeting, I was certainly not inspired to change—I was desperate. The truth is that pain can be a great motivator...

“Keep Coming Back”

At one of my first Al-Anon meetings, a member shared that a reading helped to clear up her thinking—like cleaning off a dirty windshield. She felt she had gained some clarity. When I came to Al-Anon 15 years ago, I was in a fog of denial. Even though there was...

Lessening My Character Defects

Growing up around alcoholism, I learned to read rooms and to take on others’ feelings and opinions. Drama and gossip felt comfortable. I have carried these character defects with me most of my life, passing on my judgments and negative behaviors to others. Three years...