Whenever I’m trying to control things I can’t control and trying to dictate instead of accept, my life starts to feel unmanageable. This feeling is particularly strong when I’m dealing with another person who isn’t acting the way I want them to act—especially when their behavior feels like an injustice against me.
In those moments, I live inside my head, spelling out all of their flaws and mistakes, proving my case for why I’m right, and trying to think of just the right words or actions that will make them do what I want. I twist myself up like a pretzel and only end up feeling even more out of control.
Luckily, with Al‑Anon and a whole lot of practice, I’m getting better at differentiating between the things I can control and the things I can’t. I am learning how to let go of other people’s behavior and find my truth and the courage to act on it. The inside of my head still gets unmanageable from time to time, but now I have the tools and the support system to recognize it sooner and move myself in a healthier direction.
By Matt B., Florida
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.