I came to Al‑Anon out of desperation. I was desperate to learn how to get my alcoholic loved one to stop drinking. I was consumed with anxiety and obsessed about his every move. I felt guilty about neglecting our daughter and believed I wasn’t being a good mom. I had isolated myself from my friends, I was losing focus at work, and I wasn’t sleeping or taking care of myself.
My first meeting gave me hope that if I kept going to meetings, things would get better. At the time, I didn’t realize that meant that I would get better! Regardless of whether my loved one kept drinking or not, I would get better. Imagine that!
I think I cried my way through those first meetings. After one such meeting, a kind older member approached me and spoke to me gently. She told me that I would be okay. Just hearing that I would be okay was the experience, strength, and hope I needed. Then she gave me the most wonderful hug and passed me some neatly folded pages. She said that over the years of coming to Al‑Anon, she had compiled these wise words that had helped her, and she was passing them on to me.
That was almost eight years ago, and that member has since passed away. I continue to go to meetings and have gratefully taken on service, because I truly believe that when I get busy, I get better. I try to be a comfort to new members like she was to me. I pass on her wise words, paying forward her kindness, strength, and hope. Her kindness that day and her wise words continue to comfort and inspire me.
By Karen A., Newfoundland
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.