Before Al-Anon I trusted everyone and no one. How could that be? I had no boundaries, so I blabbed and complained to anyone who would listen. Yet, I didn’t share with those who mattered in my life, because I might be questioned and held accountable. I rarely let anyone see who I really was.
My husband had an affair the summer before I started attending Al-Anon. I allowed myself to be manipulated. I believed the lies I was told and convinced myself that what I saw and heard was wrong. After discovering the truth, I had all kinds of suspicions and trust issues. Coming to Al-Anon changed that.
Honestly, after reading Step One, I recognized that my life was unmanageable. I realized that without boundaries, I couldn’t trust anyone, especially myself. So, I kept coming back and started to work on myself.
I continued to go to meetings and got a Sponsor. I began to learn who I was and how fear controlled my life. I learned trust from my Sponsor. She also showed me that my Higher Power has my best interests at heart. She helped me to see how many times I had been taken care of and to believe I would continue to be. I began to trust my Higher Power. I started to feel safe, and I could talk myself down from the ledge of suspicion. Today, when I feel suspicious, I check to see whether I have distorted perceptions and whether fear plays a role. Trust is a decision I can make because I know I am not alone. I rely on my Higher Power.
By Anonymous
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.