I started Al-Anon in my 30s. I’m now in my 70s. My perceptions of my alcoholic loved one have changed. I used to blame him for everything. If I was in a bad mood, it was because of him. I was sure he made me feel irritable and unreasonable. Then it dawned on me why I was feeling so angry at him: I wanted him to fulfill my every dream in life. How selfish of me, expecting this man to give me the world.
In Al-Anon I learned not to expect others to make me happy. I was encouraged to start loving myself first. I needed to take care of myself and not expect others to bring me joy. I started doing what made me happy. If I decided to do crafts, then I would do it. If I wanted to do a yoga class, then I’d do it. It was my choice. Taking care of myself is my top priority. No one can make me happy, lonely, angry, or depressed. It is my choice if I want to feel these emotions.
My husband and I began having a better relationship once I came to believe that I was the one responsible for my happiness. I’m thankful I became a member of Al-Anon and that I stayed with this program that is working on me. We are much happier since Al-Anon is a part of my life.
By Mary C., Wisconsin
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.